China: New and Improved

Now with pole dancing classes!

I am The Spectacle

Today after sleeping a record 10 hours, I headed out of the hotel around noon and I was the main circus act all day. I'm not in the main part of the city, so I don't think they get many westerners out here. Their reactions would vary from cursory glances, shock (no kidding, someone gasped), to waving and "herro!"

I first noticed it when I was sitting eating dumplings. The scene was a little street shop, full of Chinese, and me. For an instant I could understand Chinese. Walkers by said things like:

"Should we tell him he's eating desert for lunch?"
"Check out the round-eye. He holds chopsticks like my 3-year old."

"Must be American. I can smell the McDonald's on him."

My favorite experience of the day came as I approached an upscale outdoor mall. These very fashionable teenagers were trying to drive business to a hair salon, full of equally fashionable people. They all had big hair and western style clothes. The first girl said, "good morning," then corrected herself to "good afternoon," and giggled embarrassed. Before I knew it I was surrounded by an entire Asian-Zoolander mob and for the next three minutes they all either tested their engrish out on me, or tried to get me to have my hair washed. As I walked away, one of them shyly said "bye bye" from around a tree then disappeared.

Then it hit me: they're not shocked that I am a westerner with light eyes and a beard, they're shocked because I'm like Andre The Giant on vacation. I'm at least a head taller than everyone. Now I know what NBA player feels like.

Two Hands

Tomorrow I leave for China, and for me it's a mixed bag. On one hand, I'm totally excited about crossing the globe, eating strange food and doing business in a strange land. I'm all about planes, trains, boats and cars, and I'm going to be away from my family for 15 days. That's the other hand: not seeing Amber and Scarlett for such a long time. I know Scarlett's going to be bigger when I see next, and that's a little weird. He progress for me is like watching the grass grow, it happens so slowly that I don't notice until a big milestone is crossed or I look back at pictures. When I get back in November, she will be noticeably different.

C'est la vie. Asia here I come.